Monday, April 25, 2005

If You Want to Make a Big Impression Smell Bad

So imagine you're a durian tree, and you're growing in a rainforest. From time to time your mind turns to the making of little durians. So you put out your flowers and the bats pollinate them. Your fruit grows as the monsoon rains fall. You put an armoury of spikes around them to prevent the monkeys and gibbons and orang utans eating them before they're ripe.

And then you have a problem.

You have got to get your seeds out into the world. If they fall too close to your trunk, they'll just be competition for space and light.

Other trees have light seeds with wings that can be carried on the wind. Some trees bear berries and the birds eat them and carry the seeds. But your seeds are heavy. You need the largest mammals, tigers and elephants and apes to eat the flesh and carry your seeds as far away as possible to a place where they may germinate. The humans, the 'orang asli' have their uses too.

Now you're on your own in this forest, as far as you can see. Every tree around you is of a different species: this is the reality of biodiversity.

Yes, yes. You might have the most delicious fruit in the forest, the best product on the market, so to speak. But without advertising, who's going to know it? The tigers and elephants and apes and aborigines could be anywhere in this huge forest. However will they find their way to you when you need them most?

So you develop a marketing plan. Will it be billboards or banner ads or sky writing that get your product sold?

No.

You learn to create such a stink, such a stench that it travels for miles on the air. And the animals come.

Other trees see your success and jump on the bandwaggon: jackfruit, cempedak, petai, jering, kurdas, and some varieties of wild mango.

But you do it best.


(The fruit has entered my bloodstream and is taking over my thoughts. Help!)

7 comments:

Chet said...

Are you replacing the fallen cempaka tree in your garden with a durian tree? If you are, I'm not coming near your house. I don't like durians. Especially the smell. Eww ... *pinches nose*

bibliobibuli said...

Now there's an idea!

bibliobibuli said...

Giant has some lovely durians from Johor at the moment. i think this is a good vintage. Love it when Malaysians ask me "can you take durian" and then I say buy me one and see!

Durian party? Any day also can.

Anonymous said...

Mmm, count me in if you are having a party...... may have to wait several years for the tree to produce fruit though :-)

I bought some Johore - Muar - durian in Carrefour last week and it was lousy. And I bought the mid range out of the 3 prices. So disappointing lah!

Chet said...

I used to like durians as a kid, but after an incident where I fell and spiked my knees on a pile of the fruit, I've gradually grown to dislike them. So I guess you don't have to invite me to your durian party, lah.

bibliobibuli said...

Trust you to be the only person i've ever met to be attacked by a durian, Chet!

Chet said...

Not just a durian, but a pile of them. We used to have a fruit stall in front of my dad's Chinese medicine shop. When durian was in season, it became a durian stall. My nanny would go and pick one every afternoon. I went to help choose, stumbled and fell.