Literature Abuse

Are you a literature abuser? Try this fun quiz from the American Literature Abuse Society (ALAS).

Self-Test for Literature Abuse: How many of these apply to you?

1. I have read fiction when I was depressed or to cheer myself up.
2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
3. I read rapidly, often "gulping" chapters.
4. I sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen.
6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
7. Sometimes I re-write film or television dialog as the characters speak.
8. I often read alone.
9. I have pretended to watch television while secretly reading.
10. I keep books or magazines in the bathroom for a "quick nip."
11. I have denied or "laughed off" criticism of my reading habit.
12. Heavy reading has caused conflicts with my family or spouse.
13. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby.
14. I seldom leave my house without a book or magazine.
15. When travelling, I pack a large bag full of books.
16. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read.
17. Reading has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
18. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I finished a novel.
19. I become nervous, disoriented, or fearful when I must spend more than 15 minutes without reading matter.
20. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
21. I have sold books to support my reading "habit."
22. I have daydreamed about becoming a rich & famous writer, or "word-pusher."
23. I have attempted to check out more library books than is permitted.
24. Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers.
25. I have sometimes passed out or woken groggy or "hung-over" after a night of heavy reading.
26. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of reading.
27. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of something I read.
28. I have sometimes wished I did not read so much.
29. Sometimes I think my fiction reading is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to five or more of these questions, you may be a literature abuser. Affirmative responses to ten or more indicates a serious reading problem --seek help now! Fifteen or more "yes" responses indicates a severe or chronic "readaholic" personality. Intervention is seldom effective at this stage.

I scored 17. How did you do?