What the Butler Couldn't Remember

Andrew is an old friend of my sister's family, and butler to RockStarofGreatFameandFortune. (Clue: you may have caught him in action here, not so very long ago.)

Andrew has a dream of a job, travelling continually between RockStar's huge estates in Britain, Tuscany and Malibu. He constantly rubs shoulders with the rich and famous of showbiz. (He's a confidant of Madonna, was at her wedding, chats to her in the kitchen.) And while he's the very soul of tact and discretion, I love to prise out of him stories about what these folks are really like when they kick off their shoes at home. ("We had the London Symphony orchestra round to play a little music over dinner. As one does.")

And Andrew makes me laugh. He's such an old lady. And now some of RockStar's glitzy lifestyle is rubbing off on him. Designer clothes. (I get him to show me all his labels everytime I see him - even his underpants!). Sports car. First class airtravel. ("My dear, I don't do Economy.") A bank account at Coutt's (the Queen's banker) so that he can sign for things for "his" family.

I loved this story that my sister told me. Andrew was serving drinks at Bruce Springsteen's New Year's party ("As one does") in Malibu. RockStar's wife asked Andrew to go over to one gentleman who appeared to have finished his drink, and to offer him another.

Andrew couldn't remember for the life of him, what the guy's name was, but of course he recognised his face - one of the most famous actors in Hollywood. RockStar's wife thought it was hilarious that Andrew couldn't name the guy and wouldn't help him out.

So Andrew reaches for his handphone and calls my sister, Tess, all the way back in London. Tess is a bit of a film buff and he felt that if anyone ought to know who this guy was, it should be her.

He gets her to reel off the list of older actors with wrinkles and grey hair.

Richard Geer?
No.
Harrison Ford?
No.

And so on down the list.

My sister runs out of names and decides to try a different tactic.

So what does the woman with him look like? (My sister reads "Hello" magazine and is up on all the celeb. gossip.)

Andrew describes hair and clothes and demeanour. They still draw a blank.

Andrew goes back to Rockstar's wife, suitable chastened and she whispers the name in his ear.

And that's why poor Clint Eastwood was kept waiting for his drink!