A Portfolio Career?

A friend came up with a term I liked the other day.

"You're developing a portfolio career," she said.

We were sitting contemplating the long list I'd typed out of all the work and projects I've taken on. I carry it round with me all the time to remind myself that, difficult as I find it, I can't say yes to everything.

But something has happened in these months since I decided to work freelance. To express it in a really cheesy way ... it's as if my fairy godmother paid a visit chucked a little fairy dust my way.

I had my company set up years ago. But never had the courage to operate it. I was afraid to take that first step. Afraid of falling flat on my face. Afraid, most of all, of the paperwork and of managing finances. (Show me figures and I start to hyperventilate!)

It's hard to make the jump to working for yourself after you've spent years working for other people. I was very comfortable working for years in teacher-training. Too comfortable to kiss my great colleagues and my lovely students ... and my all-too-nice-paid-in-UK salary, goodbye.

But then the project ended. Other countries, other universities, were going to be training the B.Ed students, the Ministry of Ed. decided in their wisom. (A great pity, since our programme was working very well indeed.) So then I was unemployed for the first time in over 20 years.

Several people came up with job offers of the run-my-language-school-kind. But I realised with something of a shock that I'd had it up to here with English language teaching. I needed a change, but what?

While I was deciding, Raman came to my aid by roping me in as editor for one of his Silverfish collections, and by pushing other editing work my way.

Then I got dragged (kicking and screaming) into organising the Litfest.

Four months of running round like a headless chicken organising writers and programme and rooms and writing press releases, followed by three days of total panic during which I didn't even manage to sleep. It was for sure the most exciting project I've ever been involved with, but also the most exhausting.

And afterwards I felt like a well-wrung out dishcloth. Life post-Litfest was a big anti-climax. No more adrenalin buzz, no more writer-groupie highs. I slumped into depression. Looking back now I realise how ill I became.

Thank goodness for friends who care whether you slip through the cracks in the pavement or not. Who pick you up and cheer you on. Who have faith that you can do it.

It was time to follow my heart and to find work I loved. Time to take my courage in both hands and begin to work for myself.

MPH gave my creative writing course a home. That was my first big stroke of luck. I'm now into my fourth run of it, with a fifth starting before the end of the month. I have plans for other short courses. (Just need time to sit down and develop them!) And now there's the possibility of teaching the course in-house for a client company which wants to boost the creativity of its writing teams.

And things have just taken off from there.

I'm writing on writing and books and authors for various publications. (And a future career as a columnist! More about that later!) So I still get to be author-groupie and shoot my big mouth off.

I'm going to be working part-time with the British Council to revamp the library (and being paid to buy books!!!) and work for them on writing-reading related projects.

I'm doing some editing work.

I've got writing projects of my own well underway and am doing the research for my novel.

And everything I do seems to fit together so well and feed into everything else, hence "portfolio career" ... .

My main worry these days is how to juggle my time and say no to projects that I wouldn't be able to do my best for. There are other projects I'd like to try and find room for (especially the whole writing-as-therapy thing).

The money isn't exactly flowing in yet, and I still have a way to go to in becoming as organised and efficient as I'd like to be. My eyes still glaze over when I see columns of figures ... but I am improving. But I love the feeling of independence I've gained and the sense of ownership over what I do.

Perhaps in life we make our own luck. But maybe too it's true about the fairy godmother.

Anyone want to borrow her before I turn back into a pumpkin?