Nipples and Nirpal

Spotted in Times, BSC, autographed copies of Tourism by Nirpal Singh Dhaliwal - one of this year's hottest debut novels in the UK.

Says Bookmunch about the novel:

Tourism is not a book that is big on plot or structure, but what it is expert in is the accurate and often biting portrayal of people in London’s expanding middle classes and the racial tensions that often underlie a rather harmonious perception of this group of intellectuals and professionals. Looking beyond the nipple that is on the front cover, the blurb reads that the main protagonist Puppy has left the immigrant neighbourhood of Southall to mix with the metropolitan elite of London society. Puppy is tormented with nymphomaniac desires, only ever concentrating upon his ‘quest for pussy’ and is plagued with regret over disappointing his Indian matriarch mother. He is hopelessly infatuated with the enigmatic Sarupa, but instead settles for her best friend. He cannot find a job, and instead procrastinates by smoking weed and sleeping around. I refuse to give away the shock ending and leave it to your imagination, but I was certainly left very satisfied by this little treasure of a book.

Now that sounds like a book worth reading. However, I think the cover of the book is a disgrace. There's a very visible nipple peeking through that very sheer white blouse. Where on earth were the censors with their black pens? I demand a big blodge of felt pen to cover it!

But what I really want to know is how come the guy (presumably enroute from the Sydney Writer's Festival) just snuck in and signed his name for Times without the rest of us getting to know? Would have loved to have grabbed him for an interview! Especially after reading the low-down-and-dirty about him revealed by his wife, columnist Liz Jones:

... he binge eats, he nearly squashes the cats in bed, he lies around all day, he spends all her money, he emits cabbagey smells, he spent their wedding night with his mates ...

Mindless gossip? No, it is important to know such details about writers. If we emulate them, the good luck will rub off on us too and we'll be published by a big-name UK publisher.

I'm off to brush my tongue.