All the furore about Hal's book started me thinking - why don't you get as many writers as you can to donate one bad review of their book? To start you off, here is one review of my first novel The Flame Tree that has nothing good to say AT ALL. The reviewer misses the point, though, that the book is not a whodunnit but that's just me being picky...I'd say that no matter who you are and how good your work, if you're talking about reviews on Amazon, someone is bound to rubbish your work (if you are lucky enough to get reviews in the first place!). Sift through the reviews of any Booker prize winner and you'll see what I mean.
"The opening lines reads straight out of a sex thriller by Jackie Collins. Its a put- off. Extolling the virtues of the rapid development in Malaysia and a devoted paragraph to Malaysia's first car the Proton Saga, reads like an article straight from the Far Eastern Economic Review and a government propaganda piece. The plot-line gets completely lost and the build-up to the murder and corruption that the author is trying desperately to lead the reader to the end, does not capture the reader's imagination or interest.The murder takes place at page 219, but the whodunit is no where in sight and the plot gets completely lost in the heat and jungle. The author's attempts to introduce Malaysia to the rest of the world, with excerpts on its history, a former British colony etc - reads like a Lonely Planet Guide. We don't need such trite information. The Flame Tree is nothing more than a cheap soap opera and it fails badly. For her first novel written in 18 months, she needs to go back to the drawing board."
The reviewer is of course anonymous and something tells me he/ she is a Malaysian.... I wonder what gives that away?
You can see it for yourself on Amazon.co.uk - where, luckily, there are also other reviews that are more favourable (which saved me from slitting my wrists right there and then...).
And to be honest I've expressed my own frustrations about certain books on Amazon in less than kindly terms, though never anonymously (and it is not possible to do so anymore).
Anyway, if do you have a review that's a stinker, do post it here.