Am reading a collection of short stories by Sheila O'Flanagan, and the first story starts like this:
Jennifer Jones sat at the table on her balcony.
No, thought Corinne, that's too boring. It doesn't say anything, doesn't let people know where she is. Or what sort of person she is. Or what might be about to happen to her.
Jennifer Jones watched the crystal-clear water from the chair on her balcony.
But what's she doing sitting down? Corinne asked herself. Why is she sitting around like a lame-ass when she's somewhere gorgeous and exotic? And when she's supposed to be gorgeous and exotic too? And especially when she's supposed to be a sassy action heroine? She shouldn't be sitting anywhere just looking at the sea like a feeble pensioner. (Though pensioners don't have to be feeble. Note to self: how about a pensioner heroine for a future novel? Mightn't that be interesting? Or is that too Agatha Christie? Miss Bloody Marple, of course. Nobody can do a pensioner like Miss Bloody Marple, can they?) Corinne frowned as she looked at her revised opening sentence again. I haven't even said that it's the sea she's looking at, have I? Crystal-clear water could be a lake. I'm still not giving any information about what's going to happen to her at all.
Jennifer Jones... Jennifer Jones... Corinne stared at the open laptop in front of her. Oh bloody hell, she thought. What the hell is going to happen to her? I've no damn idea. She pushed the laptop away from her in disgust and stared out over the blue and white wooden rails of the balcony of Room 404. She sighed deeply. Bloody Jennifer Jones. She loathed the woman. Detested her. Hated her. Abhorred her. Corinne pulled the laptop towards her again and clicked on the thesaurus. Abhor. Abominate. Deplore. Detest. Dislike. Execrate. She frowned. Was execrate a verb? She wasn't sure. She'd never heard of it before. But it would do. If it meant what it was supposed to mean, then she absolutely totally and utterly execrated Jennifer Bloody Jones.
Thought some of the writers here might be able to identify with this! *grin*
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Inside a Writer's Head
This message was posted by one of the participants on the Yahoo Group I run for my creative writing courses and it made me smile so much I thought I would pass it on :