So a novel?
Not really. A little over 50,000 words in a computer file. A sheaf of pages in a green ring file. A leviathan of a plot - in actual fact a number of subplots, too many to juggle, and ends pretty much untied. Unlikelihoods abound. Plot holes everywhere. (I ran out of words before I ran out of story.) And the writing is pretty cheesy. Melodramatic at times for sure. Certainly not the great step into litfiction I'd hoped for. So don't hold your breath that this is the next great novel that the world is waiting for.
So what do I have at the end of this month?
I have the knowledge that I can be disciplined as a writer, and this is the most important thing of all. I
can stick myself to a chair for as long as it takes and get words down. I wrote every single day. I wrote when I was tired. I wrote on the days when depression swamped me and I couldn't think of a reason to get out of bed. I wrote when I had a sore throat and swollen glands. I wrote around all the family get-togethers of Hari Raya.
I learned how it feels to be so totally plunged into creating a piece of fiction that it takes over your life. When I wasn't writing I was thinking. Every time I picked up the newspaper fresh ideas leapt out at me. I am usually the biggest bookworm on the planet, but had to give up reading altogether - just couldn't cope with nayone else's words in my head. I even dreamt my story - and on one occasion had to get up at 4.50 a.m. to get started on the next scene. For one month prevarication,my greatest enemy, was totally banished.
And before this I always said I'd never write a novel. I haven't the energy for it, I said, I'm a miniaturist, content with short fiction and the very occasional piece of poetry. I've a short attention span, I argued. I'd lose interest. But having made an assault on writing a novel - however humble - I realise that you actually have a lot more freedom to explore themes and take interesting detours and side-trips. And when you write a short story, you can only give the reader the tip of a huge iceberg - so much "backstory" has to remain hidden. What I mean here is that you the writer have to know far more about your characters than you can ever put into the short story, which has to be pretty clipped and neat, so they are a great deal more labour intensive than they look. In a novel, much more of the "backstory" can be revealed, and that gives you a great deal more freedom.
The best thing to come out of the novel was the characters who appeared on my page. They dictated the story, made me laugh, sometimes brought me to the edge of tears. Minor characters took over, and I let them, wanting to see where they led, not having an idea about where the whole thing was leading anyway.
With this draft I've got over the feeling that as a foreigner I do not have the right to write about this very complex country and the political and racial issues no-one here likes to discuss too openly. My characters won't let me pussyfoot around: they demand to be heard.
Although I may chuck away this draft, I know now what it is I want to write. A piece of social satire about the city where I live, weaving in characters from every race and social strata. I want it to be scurrilous, and funny and true. Ihe great writers I'd like to invoke for inspirationj on the journey are Dickens, Victor Hugo and the Vikram Seth of
A Suitable Boy: writers who could conjure a whole social landscape onto the page, juggle a huge cast of characters, and who could mingle comedy and pathos and incisive comment.
I'm very much at the beginning of the process, and very happy about it. I'll take a break and then rethink, research and next year rewrite.
